


And there she was...

by DarkHorse77



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Sex, M/M, loss and refound
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25569184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkHorse77/pseuds/DarkHorse77
Summary: Serenity Shepard has always had a thing for turians. She had saved the council from Sovereign. What else could this universe throw at her.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Kudos: 16





	1. As the Citadel burns.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story that stuck in my head. It is slightly off cannon as Garrus hooked up with Shepard before the loss of the SR1. I just couldn't explain the change in Garrus between the end of ME and him signing back on in ME2. If Alien sex is not your thing - I would probably skip this.

As the Citadel smoldered in the days after the Battle, Shepard’s life was no longer her own. She was now the saviour of the Citadel. The hero of the council. The Spectre that had saved everybody. Now her days were occupied with presentations here, meet and greets there. In the first week alone she had done over 50 meetings and galas with hundreds of diplomats and dignitaries from all the species represented by the Council. 

The demands had started to take its toll, the long days and short nights had meant sleep was in very short supply. The fact was, sleep for Shepard was a distance memory and no one had taken the time to notice. “Commander, new orders have come through. We depart tomorrow 14.00.” Joker relayed as Shepard excused herself from a discussion with an Elcor diplomat. “Where we going and for how long?” Shepard replied, trying to keep her voice down. “Long enough Commander. If you have anything you want wrapped up here I would get it done.” Looking at her omnitool, Shepard dismissed the orders for her next deployment, and let a drawn out sigh leave her body. “I do, record me as on some personal time. This never stops.” Serenity lamented into the open channel. “I’ve got some visits to make before we depart. I’ll be there 14:00 tomorrow.” She continued feeling she had to justify a few hours to herself. “Will do Commander.” Was the simple reply before Joker cut off. 

Looking out over the numerous fountains, Shepard walked slowly down the gangway of the Presidium towards the elevator to C-Sec Academy. The familiarity of this walk eased her mind and allowed Serenity to think for a few precious moments. Walking to the water edge, she looked up to see the reconstruction underway. Slowly she wandered to the bench and sat down. Closing her eyes she listened to the water and the innocent conversations of people as they went along with their daily business. Suddenly, the pain in her right shoulder from the fall in the explosion started to distract her thoughts. With a pained huff she opened her eyes and turned back to reality, as quickly as possible she stood and stepped into the nearby elevator. 

The familiar music and notifications on the ride down brought a smile to her face as she leant exhausted against the side. She could feel her heavy eyelids drooping as she slowly drifted off.  
“As the restoration process continues, the Council sanction an expedition to the Mu relay...”   
Shepard cricked her neck and took in a deep painful breath. Reluctantly she opened her eyes, and flexed her right shoulder trying to ease the growing stiffness. With a ding, the doors slowly opened and Shepard stepped forward. She was immediately hit by the onslaught of voices from the now familiar hustle and bustle of the active C-Sec reception area.

Walking silently forward Shepard forced a smiled and nodded cordially to those who recognised her. Rubbing the back of her neck, she continued to acknowledge those around her, all wanting to personally thank the saviour of the Citadel. Increasing the pace a little, she jogged down the steps, and slowed as the low rumble of his voice reverberated up the corridor towards her. Her chest vibrated as his deep voice got louder. She stopped as she listened to the strain in his voice. But there was also determination there. He was focused and seemed content. Tentatively, she approached his office. As she caught his smell, her heart quickened and her senses sharpened. Stepping into his doorway she gently knocked and waited. Closing her eyes as she drew in his erotic sent of chocolate, amber and peppercorn. For the first time in days, she felt her body relax and for the first time since Sovereign’s attack she could feel the weight of the Galaxy lifting, if only temporarily from her shoulders. Garrus Vakarian had always had this ability to calm her, from the the first moment they met.

“If it’s more reports, just place them on the table over there.” He said pointing at the corner without looking up from his desk. “They can join the rest of them.” His frustration clear to hear.

“I, I wanted to come see you. I hadn’t heard from you in a few days. I was worried. I hope you don’t mind?” Ren said optimistically as she leaned against the door frame, fiddling subconsciously with a strand of her hair, waiting for a response.

Garrus suddenly looked up, his bright blue eyes lighting up with recognition. Shepard’s heart skipped a beat as she finally made eye contact with him. “Shepard!” Garrus exclaimed as he got up from his seat and walked over and pulled her in for a massive hug. “How are you? It’s good to see you.” Garrus continued as he inhaled her scent. “This uniform look good on you.” Shepard said, brushing down the front of his blue C-Sec uniform. “Thanks...” he replied before pulling her closer and rubbing his face into her voluptuous white hair. “You have your hair down.” He noted as he pulled back out of the hug to look at her once again. 

“Shepard!” Garrus exclaimed, “what the...” his features fell, as he took in her haggard look. He couldn’t miss the dark rings under her eyes, the gauntness of her features and her watery eyes. “Shepard?” He whispered with concerning growing in his tone, “By the spirits Shepard, you look... When was the last time you slept? Ate?” He pulled her back into a hug. 

Shepard nodded as she tried to hold back all the emotions inside. “It’s been a while. I, I depart, at 14:00 tomorrow. We’re heading out to look into some of these colonies that are going dark in the Terminus System. They are saying it’s the Geth.” Garrus pulled her tighter, his innate need to protect her and keep her safe. Ren ached for his close proximity, his scent, his voice. All of it calmed her racing heart, and cleared her thoughts. Closing her eyes, she relaxed into his embrace. “Shepard. You can’t do this to yourself. Please.” Garrus whispered through her hair. “Are you sure you can’t come?” Ren asked as she looked up at him, as he towered over her.

Garrus shook his head, “I’m needed here. I thought we had discussed this. I wish I could come but I’m committed here.” Shepard nodded in agreement. “I know, it’s just, when I’m with you I can be me. Tell you anything...” She scrapped her teeth over her bottom lip, trying to feel physical pain instead of the intense emotional pain that was consuming her chest. Closing her eyes she continued. “Out there.” She pointed out his door. “Out there I’m Commander Shepard, Saviour of the Citadel.” A single tear fell down her cheek. “I didn’t ask for this Garrus, the recognition, the notoriety. None of it. I want to serve my time and settle down with the right...” She hesitated as Garrus’s arms stiffened. “Look I’m sorry it’s been a hard couple of days. The Council has me travelling here, there... it’s just.”

Garrus encompassed his hands around Shepard’s face and kissed her forehead. “Look let me finish up here. You and me, we can then go back to mine. It’s small on my C-Sec wage but it has room for two. Please you need food and rest before you leave in the morning.” Garrus said in a concerned tone. “Let me take care of you tonight.”

Shepard let the hot steaming water run down her back and soak into her soul. Everywhere smelt of him, this small flat was perfect. Smiling into the steam of water, Ren allowed the warmth of the shower to rejuvenating her in more ways than one. Resting her head on the wall, she chastised herself for not letting Garrus know how she felt before now. She was leaving on a 6 month tour of the Galaxy and he still worked for C-Sec. As he had already explained he was loyal to the core and there was no way he was going to leave them for anything. His secondment to the Normandy was now over, considering Saren was dead.

“Shepard? You ok in there?” Garrus called from the other room. “I was able to pick up some food for you from the Presidium. When you’re ready, come on out and you can eat.”

Shepard acknowledged his gesture and turned off the tap, grabbing a warm towel from the side she started to rub herself dry. She stopped and looked at herself in the mirror. Without her clothes, she was horribly gaunt and Garrus had been right in his observations she looked terrible. Pulling on a spare t-shirt, hoodie and loose shorts Ren walked out of the bathroom and slumped down on the settee next to Garrus. She snuggled into his embrace, and pulled his long arms around her.

“Eat Shepard, please I can’t bare to see you looking like this.” Garrus said leaning forward and grabbing her a cardboard carton of take out he got from Shepard’s favourite restaurant. “You got me Pad Thai chicken and noddles... this is my favourite.” Shepard said, her lip and hand trembling with emotion as she tried to fork some of the food into her mouth. “You always just know what...”

“I know it is Shepard. It makes me laugh how each time you take a fork full you blow it gently before putting it into your mouth. Every time.” Garrus lent forward and kissed her head. His fingers entwining with her hair. “Your hair has gotten so long. I always wondered, what colour was it when you were younger?” Garrus asked letting the damp strands fall from his fingers. “It was jet black, ironic really when you look at it now.” She said blowing on some more noddles before stuffing them hungrily into her mouth. “The doctors thought over time it might come back.” She said biting her bottom lip and shaking her head. “But no, this is my last scar from the Blitz. Pure white hair!” Garrus placed his face in it and inhaled, “well I love it. Just as much as I lo...” Garrus stopped short, and silently dropped her remaining hair.

Shepard continued to awkwardly eat the food, the silence drawing out between them. “Garrus... I want to tell you...” Shepard started, the words falling from the tip of her tongue before she had time to think, “Garrus, I want to be with you.” Garrus stopped eating his own dextro-amino paste and stared at her, speechless. “What?”

“Since the day I met you, in the Council Chambers.” Shepard started, turning around to face him. “You were asking Pallin for more time to investigate Saren.” She swung her legs over his and shuffled closer. Garrus took Shepard’s foot and instinctively started to rub it. “I’ve wanted you ever since then. I, I just don’t know how you feel about... you know. Us. And inter-species relationships.”

Garrus dropped Shepard’s foot and leaned back on the sofa. He took in a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his face. Without a word he reached up and took his visor off and placed it on the table next to him. “Shepard, I, I never thought you were interested. I know you always come and saw me in the cargo bay.” Garrus said surprised, “I thought you and Alenko had a thing...” Ren started to laugh and nearly choked on her noodles “Alenko! No.” She laughed, “I’m not his type.” She said shaking her head, at a bewildered Garrus. “No, really. Not. His. Type. He’s gay. In fact he’s going out with my cousin, Lucas Hackett. It’s seems really serious between them. I hope it lasts. Luci really loves him.” Serenity replied still smiling at the accusation. “Alenko, no way.” She continued shaking her head. “No my thing... has and always will be turians.” She paused and took a mouthful of food. “Well more specifically, you.” Ren suddenly stopped, frozen with another fork load mid way to her mouth. Blinking she looked at Garrus, fearing at this point she had said too much. 

Through the long silence Garrus stared at her, rigid, as his mind tried to process all the information in front of him. She watched as his eyes focused and unfocused on her and the various thoughts ran through his head. “I um...” He started. “All those sparring matches?” Ren smiled and nodded at him. “Those outfits, you wore?” Ren carried on nodding. “The times you were too tired to go back to your bunk?” Ren continued nodding as a smirk crossed her lips. 

Garrus went to open his mouth again then stopped. “How? You want me?” He finally asked. “Yep, I have done for a very long time Garrus.” Garrus started shaking his head, “No, I would have noticed... something.” Ren pursed her lips to stifle a laugh. “No... I worked out some time ago you need to be a little more subtle with you.” Garrus leant back and stared at Shepard. “What do you mean?” Ren wiggled slightly and pulled off her hoodie, revealing a very tight, v-neck T, stretched over her breasts.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you looking Garrus. Too often when we have bunked together, I wake with both your hands cupping these, and other things poking into my back.”  
Garrus almost choked as his embarrassment started to overwhelm him. “Look, we’ve fooled around a bit at times. Got intimate, more than friends do.” Shepard continued. “I wanted more, I want you.” Shepard said, stroking the back of his hand as it remained still on her inner thigh. “Look if I’m out of line, just tell me. I leave tomorrow so I can give you the space to...” Shepard didn’t finish the sentence as Garrus’s mouth plates crashed into her lips, and his tongue gently probed her mouth as he took more of her.

“You do not know how long I have waited to do this.” Garrus said a few minutes later as he paused to look at Shepard.

Garrus’s course thumb rubbed over Shepard’s cheek, “it always just been you.” He said closing his eyes. “But, I convinced myself that you weren’t interested. You look so at home with other...” His thumb trailed over her bottom lip, and he pulled it from between her teeth, she was biting, awaiting more. As he went to pull his thumb away she cheekily pulled it seductively into her mouth and sucked on it gently. The intimate contact between them made Shepard feel the heat grow in her groin, and a slow rumble reverberated in Garrus’s chest.

Ever since she was young, Shepard had had a fascination with the physiology of other species. Their anatomical differences demonstrating millions of years of evolution across  
the vast distances of the galaxy. Those differences excited her. Asari and Drell were too human like for her acquired taste. Turians, with their incredible powerful, refined, avian like features, reach and flexibility she had been sold, since the first time she met them. This was especially the case with this particularly tall example next to her. He had ensnared her from the start. Before the few times they had fooled around on the SR1, Shepard was almost undone just looking at his physique and build. 

Shepard had found out from Garrus. That unlike humans, turian male genitalia when not in use are internalised, much like many animals on Earth. It was protected behind a praeputium. But like the elephant, giraffe or horse, what was hidden was more than adequate for the job. Ren knew this and had been keen to learn more, about this particular Turian. So they had fooled around a few times on the SR1. Nothing too serious, just the pair exploring and finding each other in the vast lonely depths of space.

Garrus lent forward and nipped at Ren’s neck, and grasped her breast in his hand. She could feel his want pressing against her thigh. Cautiously she slipped off her shorts and allowed her fingers to wander below his waistband. Gently she trailed her fingers along his erect shaft. It’s firmness, filling her palm and lower arm. Garrus almost collapsed into her grip, and she rotated her finger around his moist tip. “Fuck Ren. Your touch is so soft, so...” Garrus’s whole body shuddered as his excitement grew. Slowly Ren realised his want from the confines of his trousers and she hungrily headed down towards him and allowed her lips to caress his tip.

“Ren!” Garrus uttered in a deep guttural tone. “What are you doing?” He murmured as the sensations started to overwhelm him, “I...” Ren uttered still engaged in her seduction, “am showing you, what a human girlfriend would be like.” Her tongue lapping the tip and his juices started to flow. As she took more and more of him into her month, Garrus ran his hand through her hair, ruffling it up and taking in her odour. The erotic nature of it taking him to the brink of excitement. Garrus pulled Ren up to face him, her dark brown eyes glistened as she looked at him and lapped at his tip, taking in all of his exquisite taste.

Suddenly Ren pulled back, silently she pushed Garrus flat on the sofa and straddled him. “Have you have been with a human before?” Ren asked as she lent down and whispered into his ear. “No... read about your customs. Your rituals...” He pulled her closer and started to kiss her more. “Garrus...” Ren started, “Do you want to try?” Ren asked kissing his carapace as his groin rhythmically thrust towards her instinctively with each stroke she provided. “I thought I would be too big for you.” Garrus replied honestly. “No, unlike Turian women our parts are a bit more... flexible.” Garrus pushed Ren away a few inched so he could see her face. “How can it be flexible? Isn’t just a rigid...” Ren placed her finger onto his mouth parts to stop him talking. “Humans are very different from Turian females. Do you want to try?” Garrus nodded as Ren could feel his arms on her thighs pulling her closer. Suddenly, Garrus took a deep intake of breath, as Ren slowly lowered her wet sex onto him, filling her all the way.

Ren watched as a series of sensations played out on Garrus’s face. “I’ll start moving now, ok?” Ren asked concerned Garrus hadn’t spoken yet. As she thrust back and forth increasing in speed with each thrust, she could feel Garrus start to relax into the overwhelming sensations he was feeling for the first time. “Ren... this is nothing like.... it’s so wet.” Ren smiled as she leaned back and pulled his head towards her breast. “Humans, tend to suck and lick these during sex. Try it.” She said pulling his head towards her pert nipple. 

Garrus lapped her nipple, his smooth tongue forming circles around it as he moistened the areola. “Fuck! Garrus! I’m going to come!” Ren said through a strained whispered. “What? Are you ok?” Garrus asked still overwhelmed by the erotic sensations bombarding his body.  
“Garrus!”  
Her walls clamped down firm on his cock, and pulsates with each continuing thrust. “Oh...” Garrus said, as another climax from Ren caught him by surprise. As her sex, flooded with juices, Garrus couldn’t hold back any more. Gripping her hips on either side, Garrus thrust deep into Ren’s accommodating sex, and climaxed into her. As he pumped his hot white seed into her, his body juddered as another climax from Ren gripped his cock and milked him for everything he had. The low rubble of satisfaction from Garrus’s throat resonated through his body to her. She wanted to savour this moment, this perfect moment when two lovers finally succumb to their feelings. 

“Make sure you see Chakwas.” Garrus said a few minutes later breaking the silence, “I don’t want you hurting, I read some humans react their first time. The idea of you out there in the depths of space, hurting...” He said ruffling his face in her hair, as he choked out the words. “Ok, but I feel fine.” She replied pulling him closer to her chilled body. “Garrus, I need to ask?” Ren said suddenly turning around and staring at him. “The hair thing? Is that a Turian thing or a Garrus thing?” Garrus stared at her affronted by the question. “The hair thing?” He asked, his left eye focussing on her inquisitively. “Don’t.” She said hitting him on the chest. “You know what I’m asking. Don't get me wrong. I love it, I just wanted to know, is it just you?”

Garrus let out a heartfelt laugh, “That my love, is all me. You have this smell. And the texture of your hair on my face. It’s hard to describe.” Ren lent forward and kissed him. “You smell of chocolate, mixed with amber and peppercorns to me, so damn hot. Like right now, I could just jump you again. All Turians smell different to me. But you, you turn me on so much.” 

Garrus pushed himself up on the sofa, “What do you mean I smell. I don’t give off any sweat to speak of. How can I smell?” Garrus asked a little affronted. Ren lent back and looked at him, “I thought you knew. You all give off a smell. All of you.” Ren said looking at him a little confused. “Pallin his smell is awful, it’s Bergamot, rosemary and thyme. That combination is never good on any nostrils, let alone mine.” Ren said, leaning over to pick up her sweats and t-shirt. Garrus huffed as he tried to work out the enigma in front of him. “So you can smell differences between us. All the time?” Ren nodded, “I tend to choose to trust based on smell, Pallin smells of bergamot, so no. Spartacus smells of Cedar, sandalwood and vanilla. Any one of those three I trust. You... you have the magic combination of all three smells I find erotic.” Ren said staring down at her chest. “What do I smell like to you?” Shepard asked a distracted Garrus as he tried to locate his own clothes. “Garrus...” Ren said looking down at her chest, “You left some paint behind.” Garrus looked up from his twisted position as he grabbed hold of his top. “So I did. I quite like the look of that, it suits you.” Garrus replied, his tone taking on a seductive edge to it. “We’ll before you can claim me you need answer a few questions first.” Ren ordered, climbing onto of him again, her bare breast a few inches from his face. The blue face paint streaked across them. “What do I smell like to you. You said you liked my hair. What does it smell like?” Ren asked as Garrus pulled the strands to the side closer to his face. “That’s easy, night jasmine with a hint...” he took in a deep breath, as he rubbed her hair across his face. “a hint of hickory. Just perfect!” Ren lent in and kissed him. “This is why I want us to be together Garrus, we are perfect for one and other. Please.”

Garrus smiled as he took in the view in front of him, the blue streak across her breasts, the flow of her white hair cascading over her shoulders. Her rosy cheeks of sexual contentment. “Ok.” He said before he was interrupted again by another kiss. “I suppose you want me to wait for you now until you get back... 6 months you say. Correct?” Garrus teased as he pulled Ren in for another kiss. “I’ll call everyday. You could always come with me. This one doesn’t feel right. I don’t know, Liara and Alenko are with me. But you’re not there.” Garrus closed his eyes, “I wish I could baby, honestly. But I can’t, once I’ve finished up with the latest reports I’ll see if I can get time off to come rendezvous with you. Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you.” Garrus said kissing her gently, ”Ren? Baby you ok?” As sweet snores replied, Garrus laughed to himself as he pulled her in closer. Counting his blessings he fell sound a sleep with the love of his life in his arms.


	2. Spaced!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The painful opening sequence of Mass Effect 2 and the collector attack.

Shepard could feel the rumble of the ship she associated with the acceleration when the FTL drives kicked in. She wasn’t quite sure where their next destination was, but trusted Joker to steer them safe. “Ren, can you hear me. I asked where are you now?” Garrus repeated from his seat on the Citadel. “I’m due some leave soon.” He continued. “I can come out and see you again in the next few days. I really enjoyed last time I was there.” He finished, emphasising the really. “I...” Ren started, trying not to let Garrus see how upset she was. “Ren, you keep hiding it baby. what’s wrong?” Shepard swallowed deeply “I... really enjoyed you being here too.” She replied looking at her omnitool, to find her current location. “But?” Garrus continued.

“Disengaging FTL drives.” Came Joker’s disembodied voice over the intercom.

“Oh.” Ren replied ignoring his further probing, “we’ve just arrived in orbit around Alchera, Amada System.” Garrus looked up and shook his head, “that’s a desolate planet, ice and snow everywhere. There’s nothing in that system worth anything. Why did they send you there?” Shepard shook her head silently, “I don’t know I assume some ships have gone missing or something.” She continued biting her bottom lip. “Ren, please tell me. What’s wrong?” Garrus pleaded. Shaking her head more vigorously Shepard tried to hide it. “Please, we promised each other, total honesty.” Ren nodded, “Ok... I miss you so much. It hurts here.” She whispered, hitting her chest to illustrate the point. “I...” Garrus’s voice faltered a little. “I feel the same Shepard.” Garrus replied. “I hate that you’re there and I’m here.” He said leaning back in his chair. “I really wish...” Shepard started her fingers tracing over his face on the vid screen. “I could be with you right now.” Shepard finished placing her hand over the screen.

“Emissions sinks active.”   
“Board is green… we are running silent” Joker continued to confirm over the open comms.

“I’ve got to go soon.” Shepard said, withdrawing her hand and pulling herself upright, “can I ask a favour. Make sure you keep an eye on Anderson. His last vid call had a weird tone to it.” Garrus looked up from his report in front of him, “How so?” Shepard shook her head, “I’m not sure, he was... it was like he thought Udina was trying to oust him.” Garrus shuffled in his seat, “I’ll keep my eye on him.” Garrus said using a human colloquialism, he had picked up from some other human C-SEC officers. “Promise.”

“We’re wasting our time.” Navigator Pressly said looking at the blank screens around him on the bridge. “Four days searching up and down the sector, and we haven’t found any sign of geth activity. “ He continued gruffly to Joker, who was busy checking the ship’s stats on his display. “Three ships went missing here in the past month. Something happened to them.” Joker replied, looking over the HUD telemetry, as they silently orbited Alchera. Shaking his head, Pressly leaned in, “My money’s on slavers. The Terminus System is crawling with them.” He finished in a voice just above a whisper. As he turned back to the CIC he made no attempt at hiding all of his frustrations.

Ensign Helen Lowe apprehensively looked up at her HUD to confirm her finding, before she turned and faced Presley from her CIC monitoring station. “Picking up something on the long-range scanner. Unidentified vessel. Looks like a cruiser.” She stated, reluctantly turning back to her monitoring station to triple check the screen. 

“Doesn’t match any known signatures.” Joker called in confirmation checking the telemetry for himself. Presley turned and watched as Joker’s hands went flying around the HUD to try and gain some further insight to the vessel. “Cruiser is changing course. Now on intercept trajectory.” Helen said as she watched the monitor in horror.

With an urgent reality starting to set in, Presley turned to Helen. “Can’t be. Stealth systems are engaged. There’s no way a geth ship could-” 

“its not the geth!” Joker shouted in sheer panic, interrupting Pressly, and cementing the fear rippling through the CIC. “Brace for evasive manoeuvres!” Joker shouted over the open intercom.

“Shepard? Baby... What’s going on?” Garrus said as he heard the commotion in the background. Trying hard, Ren couldn’t hide the panic that started to edge into her voice. “I... I don’t know. We seem to have engaged a hostile ship. I’ve got to go Garrus.” Shepard said clipping her chest plate into position. “Shepard... Ren, baby. Please stay safe. I love you.” Garrus said his vocals reverberating his own fears across the intercom. “I love you too. I’ll see you soon.” Shepard kissed the screen and hit the disconnect.

Up in the cockpit, Joker tried every variation of evasive manoeuvres he knew. The telemetry in front of him lit up and screaming weapons fire. “Come on. Come on. We can do this.” Joker shouted. The HUD flashed bright red and an explosion ripped through the consoles behind him. “Aaah!” Pressly shouted as he succumbed to explosion, which hit inches from where he was standing. 

In a panic Helen tried to reach behind her, to do anything to help Presley as he lay motionless on the floor of the floundering Normandy. “Pressly” she called as another beam hit, “Ungh!” The remaining consoles exploded around her, sending Helen spiralling to the same fate as her XO. As a series of explosions continued to consume the ship behind him, Joker steadfast called out guidance to the crew:  
“Kinetic barriers are down”  
“Multiple hull breaches.”  
“Weapons offline.”  
Turning around to see the devastation for himself Joker demanded, “Somebody get that fire out!”

Another beam from the Cruiser cut through the Normandy like butter as she struggled to escape her impending demise. Running as fast as she could Liara dodged the exploding panels and reached Shepard, who had just finished her call to Garrus. “Shepard!” Serenity let her hand fall away from the screen, where Garrus was a few seconds earlier. With a deep breath she adjusted her stance and selected to send a distress signal. With calm resignation Shepard picked up her N7 helmet and silently stared at it.

“Shepard!” Liara shouted, afraid Ren hadn’t heard her over the constant explosions and panic. Edging forward she tried again to get Serenity’s attention. “Distress beacon is ready for launch.” Shepard said turning back to Liara, looking down she tapped her helmet, as dread filled her mind she put it on, with a knowing nod at Liara.

“Will the Alliance get here in time?” Liara asked as another explosion rocked the ship and took Shepard by surprise. Falling forward Ren adjusted her balance and looked up at Liara. “The Alliance won’t abandon us.” Shepard said with conviction, picking up an extinguisher and using it to put out some nearby fires. “We just need to hold on.” Turning back to Liara she threw her the extinguisher. “Get everyone onto the escape shuttles.” She commanded.

“Joker’s still in the cockpit. He won’t evacuate.” Liara replied, not trying to disobey orders. Looking back at Shepard, Liara braced herself “I’m not leaving either. If anything happened to you... Garrus would...”  
Shaking her head in resigned acceptance Shepard looked resolutely at Liara, “I need you to get the crew onto the evac shuttles. I’ll take care of Joker.” Without further protest Liara nodded and passed back the extinguisher. Shepard turned back towards the CIC, just as another explosion knocked her backwards causing the extinguisher to fall from her grip.

“Shepard…” Liara shouted, “Please!” Shepard shook her head, and sighed as she closed her eyes for a few seconds. “No! Do as I have asked.” Shepard stopped and turned to face her, “Liara. Go. Now!”

Liara resolved to the fate of the Normandy, conceded. “Aye, aye.” She turned and ran towards the escape pods and safety. Watching her leave, Shepard finally hit the evacuation button, and doomed the SR1 Normandy to oblivion.

Liara continued to run, through the flames to the the escape pod, turning to help others “Everybody in! Go, go, go!” She commanded. Counting the crew through Liara ducked as another explosion ripped through the centre of the ship. Talitha Draven flew forward and died just inches from escape. Ignoring all instincts to run to Talitha, Liara reluctantly climbed into the pod and activated the launch sequence. Leaving Talitha, Shepard and the Normandy to their fates.

The crippled shell of the Normandy, floundered onwards caught within gravitational pull of Alchera. The last attempts of salvation were futile as the doomed ship edged closer to its final resting place. Inside the Normandy, another explosion knocked Shepard back as she continued to run towards Joker.  
“Mayday, mayday, mayday! This is SSV Normandy.” Joker broadcast on all frequencies.

As Shepard ran though the lower crew deck towards Joker, she wished he would give up and come and join her. If he just left now, they could both make it out of here, she could get home back to Garrus.

“We’ve suffered heavy damage from an unknown enemy.”

As Shepard run upstairs towards the CIC the heat intensity, set off alarms, both inside and outside her suit. Struggling up the stairs, the heat made each step harder to make, as her alarms started to fail. The heat started to cause irreversible damage.

“Come on baby. Hold together. Hold together!” Joker said, still broadcasting.

Reaching the top of the stairs Shepard hesitated, catching her breath. The acrid smoke and flames were now burning the back of her throat. The filters of her suit, irreparably damaged. As a tear welled in her eye, Shepard knew she wasn’t going to make it. As intense pain started to ease, she knew nerves had been damaged. At least there was something in the numbing ache she now felt. Struggling to breath, there was only one person she wanted to speak to now. 

“Vakarian.”

“Garrus...” Shepard uttered through a gruff strained voice.

“Ren? Baby, what’s wrong?” Garrus replied looking urgently up at the communicator.

“I’m in real trouble here. The Normandy is lost. That ship, four shots and...” Shepard tried to limit her coughs as the metallic tinge in her mouth, only caused more tears to fall. “I don’t know who... Their cannons cut through us, our defences were useless. We were cloaked Garrus, they shouldn’t have known we were here. How did it see us?”

“Ren, baby listen to me. Get to an escape pod. Please don’t do anything silly. Get to an escape pod and... I’ll come and get you.”

“It’s too late for that... Joker’s in the cockpit, I need to get him. Garrus, if I don’t...” Ren stammered, her voice just above a whisper.

“Don’t talk like that...”

“I need to... if I don’t make it back to you. Know that I tried, it’s all I want to do at this moment. I will always love you.”

“I love you baby, I’ll wait...”

Before she could reply, her communication link failed. Moving silently forward Ren tried to negotiate cracked bulkheads and distorted support beams. The last explosion had broke most of her ribs on her right side, and her suit did little to protect her from searing heat and flames around her. As she kept moving the second degree burns on most of her body, were now third and fourth as the numbness of nerve damage was welcomed. 

Limping forward, with all she could muster Ren, managed to open the door, and found herself exposed to the vast harshness of the cruel vacuum of space. Where there used to be a ceiling over the CIC, there was now nothing. Everything was sucked into the void. Grateful for her magnetised boots, Shepard started the long arduous walk across the CIC to Joker. As silence echoed around her, she became keenly aware that, the only sound she could hear was her own rasping heavy breathing. A sound she had come to recognised as a the last throws of a system failing.

Pausing for a few minutes, she looked up at the pure majesty of the planet, Alchera. It’s awe inspiring grace silent below her. As if by magic another hull piece of the Normandy finally gave way and floated away from her, as another silent explosion propelled it towards the planet below. Pushing a levitating chairs out the way Shepard continued on her way to the cockpit

“Come on Joker! We have to get out of here!” Shepard shouted the horsiness in her voice evident to hear. Desperately Joker continued to battle to save the doomed vessel. “No! I won’t abandon the Normandy! I can still save her!” Leaning forward Shepard looked directly at Joker. “The Normandy’s lost. Going down with the ship won’t change that.” Shepard said, trying hard to keep the panic out of her voice. Resolved to her logic Joker agreed to leave. “Yeah… okay. Help me up.”

Looking out of the fragmented ceiling Joker’s heart sank as his lasting image of the ship was her burning, empty shell. Looking off into the distance, Joker starts to panic as he notices the Cruiser retuning. “They’re coming around for another attack!” A silent beam sliced through the remaining parts of the CIC as if it was paper. Fearing for Joker’s life, Shepard reached down and grabbed him forcefully. “Ah! Watch the arm!” Joker yells in pain, as a crack reverberated throughout his body.

Carrying him unforgivingly on her shoulder Shepard makes it through the bulkhead doors to the escape pod. Throwing him in as gently as she could, his face is one of the last images she sees as another series of explosions rips the Normandy in two and sends her flying backwards away from the escape pod. Scrambling to right herself, Shepard fumbles for something to hold on to as another beam cuts off her route, separating her from the only safe way out.

“Commander!” 

Without mercy the beam intensified and catapults Shepard further from safety. “Shepard!”

As a last final act, Shepard reaches for the eject button, and hits it. With a small contented huff Shepard watched as Joker flew away, taking her only hope of survival. 

Another explosion seals her fate and Shepard floats aimlessly around what remains of the CIC. With her magnetised boots failing to find any purchase on the surrounding bulk head, she drifts further and further away. One final explosion sending Shepard spinning, her inner suit ripped, and a trail of venting oxygen propelling her out into the vacuum of space.

Without mercy another two beams from the unidentified ship finally decimate the Normandy into hundreds of pieces and Shepard is catapulted further away from any resemblance of safety. As her ship disintegrates in the atmosphere of Alchera, Shepard struggles to adjust her suit and stop the loss of oxygen. As she involuntarily contorts her body in the weightless emptiness of space, she feels her body start to let go, and accepts the fate she has been dealt. Her last thought, her love for a tall shy turian who waits for her back home


	3. Then she was gone!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very short piece in which Garrus's world finally falls apart, before Freedom's Progress

Liara walked silently off the transport ship into the hustle and bustle of the newly rebuilt docking area. She drew in a deep breath, and slowly let it out as she tried to pluck up the courage to keep moving forward. His face when she told him the Normandy was lost, just the image stole her breath and Liara paused on the railings to the side. Taking in long deep breath she quickly shook all of it from her mind. Opening her eyes, she took in the surroundings. Everyone going about their business without a care in the world. Mustering the energy and willpower. Liara kept moving forward, and stepped into the lift taking her down. The tragic loss of the Normandy and 12 of her crew was still being spoken about on the intranet of the Citadel.   
“And this week the Council has agreed to a small memorial for the courageous crew of the lost SR1 Normandy two days ago in the Amada system. Meanwhile in other news the Volus ambassador...”

Liara closed her eyes as she tried to block out the useful comments passed on by the extranet. Reluctantly she admitted to herself, this was it, she had to go, she had to attend the meeting she didn’t want to happen.

“There was nothing we could do. Please believe me.” Liara said as she sat opposite Garrus in his office in C-Sec. people walked past his glass fronted door, not giving them a second look. The Citadel was starting to resemble its old self after the Battle. “I can’t escape her.” Garrus blurted out as he tried not to lose it. “I’m so sorry Garrus.” Liara said as she tried to offer words of comfort. “You don’t understand, I don’t want to escape her. Shit Liara. You know what she meant to me. I... I don’t think I can continue doing this.” Garrus said getting up and walking around his desk. “I... I only just got her. All those months on the Normandy wasted.” He shook his head as he tried to resolve the conflict in his mind. “Why her? Why was the ship so ill equipped to fight back? Best in the fleet, and she’s gone. Taking my...” Garrus threw the nearest object he could across the room. His name plaque smashed against the wall, and as hundreds of pieces fell to the floor, Garrus fell with them. His heart final giving way and irreparably torn apart. As he sat on the floor, knees bent, Garrus dropped his head into his hands. Too many frustrations surrounded him and he felt as always helpless in protecting the one he loved.

Liara slid down the desk onto the floor next to him. She sat there silently, her hand rested on Garrus’s. Letting him know he wasn’t alone in his grief. “She wanted me to come with you.” Garrus said sometime later. “She felt off about this assignment and wanted me to come with you.” He finished with a huff. “Of course I said no, committed to C-Sec. I should have been there. If I was, maybe I could have got something more out of the cannons. Anything just to make sure she came home to me.” Garrus put his head in his hands and sobbed. “I want her back. If the spirits can hear me, all I want is to have my Ren back!” Garrus pleaded as he tried to resolve his grief and anger. With a anguished huff Garrus pulled himself up off the floor. “I don’t even have her here to say goodbye. I can’t do this any more. I’m sorry Liara, thank you for coming to see me.” He finished, as he turned and walked out of his office.

As she watch Garrus walk away, Liara knew he was falling apart. Something broke inside him, now it broke inside her. Here was a very forthright, very private Turian completely collapsing and giving up on life in front of her. Flicking open her omnitool Liara begun searching, it didn’t take long to find the first dark reference to what she was looking for, what she needed. In those moments sitting on the floor Liara had found her new purpose, found how she could address her failings. She was now going to go and find Shepard, to find her body and give Garrus the closure he needed.


	4. Yours always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set just after Freedom's Progress. Shepard begins to accept the reality of losing 2 years of her life.

“What do you mean you can’t find him?” Shepard shouted, the desperation edging into her features as she broke eye contact with those in the room. The silence echoed around the room and one wanted to be the one to break it. 

Shepard could feel her heart beat, the thud drumming in her ears. The tension across her shoulders, all things Garrus knew how to relieve. One word, a hummed tune or a sensual touch he made all of it disappear. Now he was missing and it had been over two tears. Hitting the table Shepard looked back up at the others in disgust, “all this fucking money...” she grabbed a nearly data pad and threw it across the room. “All this... and you can’t find one fucking turian, one specific man and a famous one at that!” She continued as frustration and angst pulled at her chest. “We’ve tried Shepard, he’s off the grid, he doesn’t want to be found. We may never find him.” Miranda said patiently as she took the battering from a visibly upset Ren. Ren stared silently at them as her mind raged, the encapsulating fear grew inside. In frustration she started to pace back and forth, shaking her head. “Not acceptable. You need to find him!” Ren shouted desperately. “Shepard.” Miranda said edging closer to her to try and calm the situation. “we are trying. Please, look at the dossiers the Illusive Man sent you, pick one and we’ll go find them. I’ll go and do some more digging, we will find him Shepard, if you want him. I’ll find him.” Miranda promised throwing the data pads in Shepard’s direction.

“I’ve already read them. Don’t treat me like an idiot! Two are in Omega, let’s head there. The doctor first then the archangel, the convict is last. Ok?” Shepard asked looking up for an argument. When none was forth coming she relaxed her shoulders. “Good! Now go find him!” Ren said cutting off any possible response from the others in the room. “I’ll be in my cabin!” Shepard finished as she stormed out the room.

“We’ve looked everywhere for him. Last reports had him in the Terminus System. Either he is dead or he doesn’t want to be found.” Jacob said pushing off the desk in frustration, once Shepard had left the room. “Send out feelers, someone must know where the bloody turian is. Just find him, before Shepard loses it.” Miranda replied just as frustrated. “Look bring up his file.” Miranda scanned the information as she flicked through the screens at a high rate. “there is no mention of him being in a relationship with Shepard, none at all.” Miranda said confused. “There’s no indication they were together.” Jacob replied. “For that reaction, they were. How could we have missed this?” Miranda demanded. “All she has demanded is to find her bloody turian, seriously if we lose control of her because we can’t find him... it doesn’t bare thinking about.” Miranda continued throwing the data pad across the table.

With effort Shepard pulled herself into her cabin, and hit the feed button on the fish tank. As she watched them all scurry and fight for the food, she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Two years she had been gone. Two fucking years. Garrus could be anywhere. With anyone, the sheer thought of it made Ren’s lip quiver. With exhaustion she slumped onto her bed and pulled the data pad from under her pillow. Slowly she scrolled through the vids and old emails. Looking over her old accounts, she had over 8000 messages she hadn’t read while in a coma. She continued to scroll through them and paused. There with a date for a few weeks ago was a message from Garrus. Hesitantly Ren tapped to open the message.

Hi Baby,  
It’s been 753 days and 6 hours since I last saw you. I think this might be my last message to you, things, things are not good. I’ve got some leads I need to finish up on, and you never know I might be seeing you soon, if the spirits permit.   
I’m doing ok, getting through the day. But as I say each message, it’s not the same without you. I miss your body against mine, the texture and feel of your hair on my face. The way you blow your noodles every time. I miss all of it Ren.  
If by some miracle you can read this from up their in the bar, please know I’m still waiting for you. Hoping we can meet again someday.

Yours always, your boyfriend Garrus xx

Shepard stared at the screen, she traced her fingers over it just to reaffirm the letters were there. As her mind wandered to their time together, the pad silently fell from her hand. Images of their time together rolled like an old movie through her mind’s eye. Her mouth quirking at the corners pulling it in to a small effective smile. Shaking her head, she shook the images from her mind. Silently she picked up the data pad again and searched for more unread messages from Garrus. As she isolated his messages, she stared at the number, closing her eyes slowly, in reopening them she stared again - 752. She had 752 unread messages from Garrus, one for each day they had been apart. Biting her trembling bottom lip, Shepard scrolled all the way down to the first one, and opened it.

Shepard,  
There is too much pain in my heart to bare. I am so angry, so upset, so pissed off. Why did you go back for Joker? Why didn’t you listen to me?

It said in your books that writing helps, so I’m writing to you. It hurts so bad at the moment, it’s hard to articulate how I feel. As I type, I, everything hurts.

Why did you leave me?

Ren could taste blood from her lip where she had bitten it too hard. Rubbing her hand over her face, she turned back to the data-pad eager to read more. Skimming through them she stopped on one particular message.

My love,  
It’s your birthday. Your second one since you’ve... I wasn’t sure what to get you so I donated to that orphan fund you always talked about on Earth. Human’s are right, it is easier to write everything down and then send it off into the void. I have an issue that I could use your help on. I’m not sure if I’m being betrayed from within, too many whispers. Too many dark corners. I think I need to move. I miss you so much.

Yours forever Garrus.

As her fingers brushed over his name, Shepard blinked hard to try and shift some of the tears. The thought of him, alone, in trouble and betrayed pulled at her insides. Throwing the datapad down Ren pulled a pillow close to hold and sobbed silently into it. 


	5. It took me forever.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months of searching, there he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be warned this does talk about the idea of suicide, although it is only hinted at. If this is not for you. Please skip this chapter.

Five months later.

“Archangel” Shepard said as she stared at the turian sniper crouched a few feet away from her. This is ridiculous she thought, he appears to be a good sniper, useful. But Shepard didn’t want another Turian on the Normandy, not when she couldn’t find Garrus. It had been five months since she had awoken and no one could find him. True to her word Miranda was looking. But he hadn’t been seen in months. And, now Shepard had to welcome another Turian on board.

Silently and unperturbed the Turian a few feet away fired off another shot taking another merc down. As the sound reverberated around the room, Shepard jumped back to reality, and the present moment. Taking in a deep breath, she tried to catch his scent. But, in complete armour she never got s good read on them. Waiting patiently, Shepard watched as the turian stood from his crouched position and turned towards the group. Silently settling his gun down, he removed his helmet, and took a seat. His scent wafted across towards her. Before he even spoke she knew it was him.

“Shepard, I thought you were dead.” Garrus said his voice shaking as he calmed his nerves. Ren froze, staring straight at the one turian she had spent weeks looking for. Here he was, evidently in his last stand against every merc organisation on Omega. She silently watched as he propped his gun up against his knee. Looking him over, he seemed ok. No distinct injuries, no ageing scars. Ren tried to stop her bottom lip from quivering, closing her eyes she fully inhaled his scent, it was him. He was here, alive and staring straight at her. Ren bit her lower lip and she watched as his eyes flicked to follow her movement. Quickly refocusing on the task in hand, Shepard stepped forward. “What... are you doing here?” She asked, repressing the urge to run and kiss him. Garrus looked her up and down, “just keeping my skills shot, a little target practice.” He stated matter of fact like.

“You okay?” Shepard asked her tone hinting at her hidden feelings. “I’ve been better, but it sure is good to see a friendly face. Killing Merc’s is hard work, especially on my own.” Garrus scoffed, his eyes focused on her. Ren could see he wasn’t sure, wasn’t quite trusting the truth. He stared silently at the livery of the Miranda and Jacob and a small huff left his nose.  
“When did you start calling yourself archangel?” Ren asked tentatively, concerned he wasn’t trusting what he was seeing, “It’s just a name the locals gave me, for all my good deeds.” He scoffed, “I don’t mind it, but please it’s hem...” he clears his throat, “just Garrus to you.” Their eyes locked as he tried to get a read on her.

“What you are doing out here on Omega?” Ren continued, unwavering in her gaze.

“I got fed up with all the bureaucratic crap on the Citadel.” Garrus paused, he couldn’t admit it was because of her he was here. The fact he couldn’t live without her, explain how his world fell apart when she died. Ren watched transfixed as a multitude of emotions flicked across his face, his unspoken communication was deafening. After a drawn out pause, Garrus looked Shepard up and down and shrugged. “Figured I could do more good on my own.” 

Breaking eye contact Garrus looked back down at his rifle and started to fiddle with it absentmindedly. Ren watched as his inner turmoil was playing out in his face. Agitated, Ren stared to wonder if he had moved on, found someone new, had a family. Suddenly the short silence was broken. Garrus looked back up. “least it’s not hard to find criminals here. All I have to do is point my gun and shoot.”

Shepard laughed at his comment. “You nailed me good a couple of times by the way.” She said, watching everyone of his moves. “Concussive rounds only. No harm done.” Garrus replied unable to look at Shepard as she flexed the pains away. “I didn’t want the mercs getting suspicious.”  
“aha” Shepard said, a seductive tone in her voice. As soon as it left her mouth, she regretted giving that information to Miranda and Jacob. They did not know how significant her relationship with Garrus was. No one did, except Liara.

“If I wanted to more than take your shields down, I’d of done it.” Garrus said, his tone surprisingly bitter in response to her teasing tone. “Besides you were taking your sweet time. I needed to get you moving.” He continued with a small laugh. “Well we got here. But I don’t think getting out will be just as easy.” Shepard said looking at the other two for support.

“No it won’t” Garrus replied as he stood up, “That bridge has saved my life, funneling all those witless idiots into scope, but it works both ways. They’ll slaughter us if we try to get out that way.” He stood and adjusts his rifle.

“We can’t just sit here and wait for them to come to us.” Jacob said, his patience wearing thin and his prejudice against aliens starting to show through. Shepard cocked her head to hear his tone, and clocked her concern about him in the back of her mind to retrieve sometime later when all this was settled. 

“Its not all that bad,” Garrus said, picking up on Jacobs tone. “this place has held them off so far, and with the three of you I suggest we hold this location, wait for a crack in their defences, take our chances. Its not a perfect plan” he continued smiling and turning to Shepard, “But it’s a plan”

Stepping closer to him, Shepard could hear the wiriness in his voice, see the toll it was taking on his body. “How did you let yourself get into this position?” She asked reaching out to touch his hand. Stepping out of reach, Garrus shunned Shepard’s advancements. “My feelings got in the way of my better judgement. It’s a long story” He relaxed and cut the distance between them again. “I’ll make you a deal, you get me out of here alive, and I’ll tell you the hold damn thing.”

Back on the Normandy, Shepard walked silently with Jacob into the CIC. As he walked around the table she watched his gait, trying to work out his story and how he could have ended up working for Cerberus. As he came to a standstill, opposite her Shepard stored away the ‘Daddy issues token.’ Just like Miranda, she frowned a little as a new thought came to mind.  
“Commander” Jacob started, pulling her from her reverie. “we’ve done what we could for Garrus, but he took a bad hit.” He continued, apprehensive of making eye contact. Rubbing the back of her neck, Shepard leaned on the table in front of her. Consumed with worry, Shepard nodded silently as she beckoned Jacob to continue “The Docs corrected with surgical procedures and some cybernetics. Best we can tell he’ll have full functionality, but…” 

The door to the CIC slid open unannounced. Silently both of them turned to see who had just walked in. Shepard drew in a deep breath and stared at Garrus, alive and relatively well in the door way.  
“Shepard” He said, his sub vocal resonating underpinning his confusion and mistrust.  
“Tough son of a bitch. I didn’t think he would be up yet” Jacob scoffed as he pushed off of the table and turned to face Garrus. “I’ll leave you two to catch up.” Jacob said as he made a quick exit out the door. With a broad smile on her face, Shepard watched as Garrus walked into the room, looking no different than he normally does.  
“No body would give me a mirror. How bad is it?” He asked a few seconds later.  
“I don’t know Garrus, you were always ugly! Slap some face paint on there and no one will even notice.” She replied playfully. For the first time in ages Garrus laughed, an unfiltered laugh than hurt his ribs and brought sparkle back into his eyes. “Oh don’t make me laugh. Damn it my face is barely holding together as it is.” He replied walking closer to Shepard “Some women find facial scars attractive, mind you most of those women are Krogan.” Snorting Shepard shook her head, same old Garrus, as there are no words she can think of to replay to that comment.

Without saying a word, Garrus nodded, answering an unspoken question of whether he was alright. “Frankly I’m more worried about you. Cerberus Shepard? You remember those sick experiments they were doing?” His tone becoming a little defensive. “That’s why I’m glad your here Garrus. If I’m walking into hell I want someone I trust at my side.” she replied putting a seductive tone into her voice. “You realise this plan has me walking into hell too” Shepard nodded and looks longing at Garrus. “Hmm, just like old times. I’m fit for duty whenever you need me Shepard. I’ll settle in and see what I can do with the forward batteries.”

Garrus turns to leave but pauses in the doorway and turns back around to face Shepard. “where have you been? It’s... what two years, three months and half a galaxy ago since we last spoke.” He asked failing to hide the irritation in his voice. “I was in a coma, for two of those years. Since I woke up, I’ve been looking for you ever since. It’s not like you made it easy for me to find you. I searched everywhere.” Garrus lent back against the wall and took in a deep breath. A smile crossed his face and he nodded. “You’re right.”

Shepard stared at Garrus, given what Jacob was just saying she was expecting something way worse than she was staring at. “Garrus, we need to talk.” Shepard said, shortening the distance between them. “We do Shepard. I think we need a long talk.” 

Shepard drew in a long breath, “Not here. Not in front of these...” she pointed at all the comms around her. “EDI is also listening. Garrus, please come up to my cabin. We have a lot to talk about, there’s a lot that needs to be said.” Garrus nodded in agreement as he silently followed her up to her cabin.

Shepard tapped on the window of her fish tank as an eel swam by, momentarily it paused and looked at her before continuing on its journey. “I... Ive been looking for you since I woke up.” Shepard started, her voice just above a whisper. “The Illusive Man couldn’t find you.” She shook her head, “No one could find you... I even asked your Dad. He didn’t know, or wouldn’t tell me.”

Garrus scoffed at the mention of his dad. “He didn’t know until about 5 minutes before I saw you though my scope.” Garrus replied sitting down on the edge of her bed. He slowly removed his armour and placed it in the locker to the side. “You were gone Shepard, dead for two years. I... lost you and I couldn’t stay in any location you had been. I... I just don’t understand how you are here now.” Garrus said looking up from his seated position.  
“I can’t explain it all, I have...” Shepard started as she took a seat next to him on the bed, “I remember flashes, waking up. Miranda talking to Wilson about my heart rate. Darkness. Then nothing until three months ago when someone attacked the station I was on. Cerberus rebuilt me, as you can see.” She indicated the cybernetics in her face and neck. “I tried so hard to find you, but you were gone.” Shepard shuffling closer to him on the bed. 

Garrus silently took her hand in his and rubbed his middle finger over her palm. “Liara came and saw me... after the attack. Explained what had happened to you, how it happened.” His sub vocals resonated as he tried to control his emotions. His rubbing of her palm got faster, “I tried to carry on, but a few things went wrong on the Citadel in the following weeks, I argued with Dad. Left C-Sec for good. Followed some leads and ended up on Omega trying to find you.” Garrus said finite like.

Shepard frowned as she placed her other hand onto of his to stop it from moving. “But, I was dead, Garrus. I wasn’t on Omega.” He turned slowly and looked at her his eyes telling her all she needed to know. “Oh God!” She whispered her hand reaching up and covering her mouth. “No. No!” she shook her head. “You know I would never have wanted that. Why?”

Garrus shook his head as he broke eye contact and looked at an implant on Shepard’s arm. His fingers traced over it as he tried to find the words that eluded him. “You were... are the love of my life Shepard. I wanted to end it in those few moments when Liara told me, but... that’s a cowards way. So I fought a lot on the Citadel, hoping someone would end me. But, it was to no avail. Then I ended up on Omega, the perfect way to... I was ready.” Garrus said pulling Ren’s hand up to kiss it. “On that bridge, my team dead. Down to my last thermal clip, and for the first time... for the first time since my mum got sick, I begged the spirits for help.” He sighed as he rubbed the back of his carapace. “I thought that was it, phone dad, say goodbye. And then... as I’m talking to him, I look down my scope and there walking towards me is an N7 insignia. There was You.” He turned and stared at her. “But right now, I don’t know how much of you is still here?”

Shepard wiped her nose on her hoodie sleeve and huffed, “I admit bits of me are new, being spaced does a lot of damage.” She pulled his arm closer to her face, “but... I’m still the one who fell in love with a tall Turian in the Council chambers. I’m still me.” Shepard said kissing the back of his hand. Garrus pulled his arm back, “it’s hard Shepard, don’t get me wrong. I’m still in love with you. That’s not wavered, but you... you look different. Extra bits here and there.” Garrus shuffled away putting some distance between himself and the dejected Shepard. “Please Garrus... it’s still me.” Shepard took her long hair down and showed it to Garrus. “You’ve got extra bit as well, a few more scars.” Shepard said, trying to lighten the mood. “You think I’m happy to see myself in the mirror at the moment. I remember every feeling on the Normandy. My skin burning, the despair I felt as I tried so hard to fix my suit. To get back to you.” Shepard continued her eyes filling with tears, Garrus shuffled awkwardly as he tried to think of what to say. “Look, I don’t expect you to feel the same. We were just starting out, but I except it was two years ago. But for me, it was just 3 months ago. I have no memory of the two years, none at all.” Garrus took in a deep breath, “Shepard... I understand. But I’m not the same person you fell in love with, too much has...” Shepard started to nod as what he was saying started to sink in. “0k... things are different. But...: Just answer me this... do I still smell of night jasmine?” She smiled, “with a hint of hickory?” 

Shepard never got her answer as a kiss stole away the rest of her speech in her head as Garrus connected with her. Closing her eyes, Shepard could feel herself falling into the safety of his embrace again. Nuzzling into her hair, Garrus breathed in deeply. “It is you. I have no idea how, I definitely don’t deserve this, but the spirits heard me and you are here. My wonderful, beautiful friend who I will love forever.”

Garrus’s fingers traced along the scars on her face, over her cheekbone, until he gently caressed her lips, with his calloused thumb. Shepard pulled in her bottom lip and tasted it, “You my dear Garrus, still smell of chocolate, amber and peppercorn.” As the words left her lips Garrus grabbed and pulled her up to the pillows. Both of them were desperate to get each other’s clothes off as they reconnected after their two-year hiatus.


End file.
